On my day off, I had been contemplating going outside to take pictures. I had been coming up with every excuse imaginable as to why I couldn't go outside. But I decided that my next day off may involve a torrential downpour which may result in me huddled under the covers watching netflicks so I decided to venture off.
I never thought I would appreciate fall as much as I do this year. Whenever I have thought of fall I have thought of winter coming up right after. But if you actually stop and look around at all the colors that fall exudes its actually quite beautiful.
My mother loved bright yellow and she thought fall to be one of her favorite seasons which at the time, I thought she was absolutely insane for thinking that but now that I think about it fall is such a beautiful season if you look past at what is to come.
The reason for my taking pictures of this fall day was I wanted to dedicate pictures to my mom. As most of you know, she past away Oct 23, 2005 which just happens to be in fall and I know if she were still alive she would have loved being outside enjoying taking pictures while out four-wheeling. I miss her more than words can express. I miss just being with her but most of all, I miss having a family.
Now, I hate sympathy. Its really annoying, but at the same time, this post was not to gain that but to dedicate this picture and a few others to the mother I once knew and still love so much. I'm not going to say I will see her someday as I am still in question about heaven and what not but I hope she is in a better place. She deserved everything and more and I feel guilty at times that I went off to college when I did and left her alone but its not something I can change so I have to move past that.
Please, please cherish every moment you have with your loved ones because you really don't know what you have until its gone. I learned that and its true. Its like a piece of yourelf died along with them.
Okay, so this post was way beyond emotional and sad. I promise happier posts to come. Until next time...